An interesting observation about America's "polite" society.

It's funny, I used to hear a lot that Americans were rude, and I always used to take exception to that. Especially when, it seemed, people who made the claim were from countries where the status quo is to be blunt and forward and say exactly what's on your mind. Now I'm thinking, maybe soften the blow a little, but they might be on to something.

I meet a lot of nice people in my business. Too nice, sometimes. Rather than say "no" to an invitation to have me come out and do a party, many will book, then either not invite hardly anyone, or flake out on me last-minute. My hosts have the same problem; people tell them they'll be there, even up til the day of the party, then when party time comes around, something else comes up.

I'm told that in England, yes, people are blunt, but a commitment is a commitment. No means no, yes means yes. In our society, "Yes" means, "maybe"; "No" means, "maybe"; "Maybe" means, "Probably not." "I'll call you" means, "Don't wait on the edge of your seat." I like their way better. It's more solid. More predictable. It's actual commitment.

Yes, life happens. It happens to me all the time. I get that. But as a general rule, I'm finding that people will say yes to placate me and get me out of their face (which, as an aside, is interesting, as I'm not pushy in any way) when they have no intention of follow-through. It's contradictory to think that you'll be polite by saying, "Yes", then pulling out at last minute, or even the week of. That's a slot I can't fill again. That's income I won't get back. That's bonus money lost. That's grocery money that I can't make.

The last 3 weeks, over half of the commitments people have made to me have fallen through. And it's SO casually done, as if it's no big deal to them. I think it's fair to say that I'm disillussioned with "polite society".

It's a big deal to me. This is my job. My livelihood. It is, quite literally, our bread and butter. Next time, just tell me, "No, thanks."