This is awesome.

http://hartford.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/66795671.html

Needy people.

I just don't have the patience anymore. I used to be surrounded by them. Now I avoid avoid avoid. I suppose that once I've got my family's needs and those of my close friends met, I'm just out of unconditional compassion. Lately my reaction is more like, quit pouting, pull yourself up by the bootstraps, and deal!

It's probably something I should work on and change. The problem is, I'm comfortable where I am.

Go plant some roses, dammit!

Matt made me mad this morning. Okay, hurt my feelings. Just a typical married thing, nothing big, but I got upset. So I went and bought roses. That was the logical thing to do, right? I went to Lowe's with a $10 off coupon and bought 2 rose bushes and some gruondcover for a flowerbed in the front yard.

I left the house without saying anything and waited for him to call the cell and ask what I was doing. He didn't. So then I was mad that either he didn't notice I was gone, or he was playing stupid games. Then I realized that I was the one playing stupid games. Darn. So I called him and asked what kind of roses he wanted.

I guess it could look like I was being passive-aggressive. He hurts my feelings, I go out and buy something to plant. He hates yardwork. But in all actuality, I had planned to plant them myself. I got home and he did it for me. We worked outside together for awhile and by the time we were done it seemed like the hard feelings had been buried with the roses.

When we were first married, we used to get into these terrible fights. Well maybe not terrible based on lots of other married people, but terrible compared to now. It's nice to know that we've reached a point where yelling and crying and struggling isn't always necessary to iron things out. It's been a long time since we got into and argument, and this time was a nice, calm, easy resolution that just took a little bit of seperation and then working side by side to beautify the home we've been making together. I just really love the comfort, calm, and understanding that we've grown into.

More people should plant roses.

How many posts have I lost now?

Paragraphs forever gone. Dangit. I hope Blogger starts working better soon. In the meantime, you'd think I'd learn to type in Word first and paste over here.

Stupid lofty goals.

I always do this to myself. I make a plan, then make huge expectations for the plan and myself and everyone involved. Of course things never work out, at least not by the agenda that I create, but that doesn't seem to teach me anything.

So it is with a lot of things in my life right now. Nothing is where I want it to be, or even close. I am trying trying trying. . . I feel like I'm spinning my wheels half the time. But I'm not getting anywhere.

Mostly these feelings are in reference to my business. By now, I was going to have my business debt paid off and be working on other debts. Not even close. The only commissions I've made this month had to go for groceries, and my biggest show this month just rescheduled.

On the positive side, May is almost booked to the minimum amount of parties I wanted to do per month. That's a good thing. I just have to figure out how to make more money per party so I can actually make progress. The idea was to get us into a better position overall, financially speaking, not just to keep our heads above water. I guess the latter will have to do for now, but I continue to have high hopes.

I suppose I should write something on this every now and then.

How's that for a lame title?

I don't have anything specific to write about. Things have been really busy. I'm having moderate success with The Body Shop sales so far. Nothing spectacular, but I tend to expect a lot of myself, so that's not really objective.

My sister with the scrapbooking company gave me some work doing sales calls. They have a new product and wanted some extra people to call scrapbook stores to try and get sales. So far I've spent probably 10 hours on the project and not made one single sale. Mind you, the perfect little pampered snobbish employees at her office are keeping all the good accounts, and they gave me a bunch that haven't done business with the company in years. I could write a whole blog on them, but that will have to be another night because I'm tired and lazy.

The only other remarkable thing going on right now is that I'm fat. Remarkably heavier than I thought. I was at my friend's house tonight and made the mistake of weiging myself. I'm 10 pounds more than I thought I was, and I've gained 4 pounds since my 6 week postpartum check (baby is now 4 months old). That sucks.

Made you look

Are there really people that think that you are a better/worse person because of what you wear? Seriously? No, really?

I've met absolutely sweet, kind, wonderful people in full-out biker gear that my mother would be terrified of. I've met horrible Satan-spawn types in denim jumpers and sensible shoes that would senf my daddy running.

Whether I'm in sweats or slacks, church dress or negligee, barefoot or super cute shoes, I am who I am. My husband loves me the same. My friends love me the same. I'm learning to love me the same.

I guess that's why I'm shocked that there are people who place SO much value on what a person wears. Whatever they're wearing, there's so much more underneath it than a label.